Birthday Morning

Today was her birthday. She had turned 21 today.

  Samarpita got up very early, slowly came near her bedroom window, pulled aside the window curtains and looked outside. From her window, one could see the blue-green mountain which had now some left-over clouds from last night's rain.  She opened the window sash little bit, chilled air blew through her long hair and  she shivered little. Sun was yet to come up, or it would be a gloomy day like yesterday. She stared outside blankly.

 "Wish to be sunny one", She loved sun rays, and being from the hill station she loved little sunny days which were not pretty much common here. 

She looked at the garden below. From her first floor window, one could see the back yard garden where a heavily bloomed violet-blue hydrangea looked fabulous. Beside the hydrangea, there were lavender and golden mountain lilies which were now in half-bloomed state.

 She hoped to see them full-bloomed on her birthday. That would be the perfect birthday gift. A small smile crossed her face. She had to get ready for the morning prayers with her grandmother. 

   

    After bath, she was looking for her dress through her wardrobe and chose a white salwar kameez with green applique work on it, with green border. It was a new dress, bought by her aunt few months ago and she saved it for today. She was a person with a very quite presence,however she was a shadow where everyone in the house rest when they were in distress. Thus, in their lives she had a low key but essential presence. No one can find her shouting in the drawing room while watching cricket matches or music competitions or she was not the person to demand anything to anyone. After her mother's death, she became quieter and more silent than ever before. 

   She could hear her grandma's chanting while stepping to the ground floor through the staircases.  Her cousins,  her brother all the young generations were still in bed. Aunt was in kitchen, giving directions to the cook and uncle was in pooja-room. Her father was out of station, visiting nearby city for some work. In their joint family, there were no difference treating children. Altogether ten members of the family were very close-knitted. 

  She entered the pooja room, smell of sweet jasmine,mixed with agarbati enthralled her sense. Her grandmother was sitting in front of Durga Murti, made of nine gems or Nav-Durga, decorated with marigold and rose garlands. Her eyes closed and she was totally engrossed in chanting her durga-mantra. Samarpita sat little behind her, she knew today's puja was little especial because of her birthday and being a mother-less child she was always very especial to her. Her grandma was always worried about her and her brother, though her brother was the eyeball of everyone in the house. Samarpita knew it was she who made her grandma worried. Her being aloof or remain silent on everything made her grandma very anxious on her well being.

   

   Puja was over and grandma looked back, gave red tika on her forehead and said, "Did you have to wear this white today ? Do not you have any bright colour in your wardrobe ?" 

Thats the problem between her and  the rest of house. 

She loved to wear light, loved to be engrossed in her gardens,flowers, readings. She finished English Hons this year and planning for her Masters in English literature in the upcoming semesters. She loved her way of life, and hated the loud life of city. This was the reason she did not go to Delhi for higher studies, chose Dehradun itself.

"We will go to temple before lunch. But I want to give Bihu some money and fruits today." Grandma announced. 

"I can drop this to Bihu", replied Uncle, "while I go to office". 

" Can you drop me too? I have not met Bihu-chacha for a long time. I will go to temple from there by walking, said Samarpita, She was very fond of their gardener Bihu who was employed here for a very long time. He was not keeping well recently. 

Ok, take Don also. Grandma commanded. I will reach temple by 11:00 am.

Oh,Don and yes Don, their favourite himalayan Husky and her lone protector in this mountain road.

A LONG INTERVAL

আমি অনেকদিন হলো লেখা বন্ধ করে দিয়েছি।লেখা জিনিসটা আমার মতে অনেক পরিশ্রমের এবং যত্নের জিনিস।অনেকর বেশ কি সুন্দর ফরফর করে লেখা এসে যায়। ...আর আমার কেবল মনের খাতায় দাগ কেটে যাই কালী কলমে বা কম্পিউটার কীবোর্ড তার আর সুর  তোলা না। ....বাস্ততার দোহাই দিয়ে ফাকি বাজী মেরে যাই কিন্তু লেখা আর হয়ে উঠেনা
    কতদিন দেখি গমের শীষ এই সিড়ি-অলা পাহাড়ের ধাপে ধাপে লকলকিয়ে হাওয়ায় মাথা দোলাছে। .বলছে, " আমিও আছি তোমার মনের কোনো খানে।.তবু তুমি কিন্তু ভুলে গেছ আমায়।আমি কিন্তু রইব এক কোনায়। ..তুমি চাও বা চাও।"হঠাত দেখি একদিন বৃষ্টির মধ্যে পাহাড়ি রাস্তা ধরে বাড়ি ফেরার সময় সে ভিজ্চে অশ্রান্ত ধারা। ...খুশি তে মন ভরে গেল  ...এই জীবনের মধ্য গগনে এসে আজ শিখলাম কোন বৃষ্টি ভালো আর কোনটা খারাপ।..তারপর একদিন দেখি সেই উন্নত -শির কন্যা আমার আর পারছেনা খাড়া হয়ে দাড়াতে। ... গর্ভবতী সুফলা সন্তান-সম্ভবা তার সন্তানের ভারে নুয়ে পরেছে  দেখে মন জুড়িয়ে গেল  ..তার গর্বিত হাসিমাখা মুখেখানি যেন উজ্জল হয়ে গেল সকালের ঝকঝকে আলোয়  তারপর সেইদিন দেখি শুরু হয়েছে ফসল কাটার সময় কাস্তে দিয়ে মুড়িয়ে নিয়ে গেল শস্য ক্ষেত। ..মন টা গেল খারাপ হয়ে। .হয়ত এই আমাদের জীবন। .দাও দাও আর দাও  পূর্ণ করে দাও ঝুলি অন্যের।
    যাই এই সময় এসে গেল। ....যদি দুখ দিয় কারো মনে রেখো এ আমার মনের কথা। .নেই গো এতে কোনো ছলনা। ..মনে এসেছিল লিখে গেলাম এক টানায়। .
           ইতি
        অদিতি
    

Busy Busy days...

Ok..relocation hangover is over.And I am finally settled in India ...with all my prejudice AND pride..with all my Luggages and Kids ( one mine and other one my mom-in-laws') and got loads of new friends along with the empty feeling for old ones. But still I have not finished arranging the house.
   Once my mom told me that she took ten years to build her house (or our home) and took rest twenty years to renovate it..Arranging my house is kind of that...I clean my house every sunday afternoon and if semester is on (read if I am teaching the classes), by Wednesday there will be plenty of cloths  EVERYWHERE..I won't fold a single laundry till Saturday morning and my son's room will be like a mad house with all the Lego pieces everywhere. There will be cricket bat on the top of washing machine and cricket kit on his study table. I used to care before and now I do not care for pristine cleanliness anymore...
   Ok..thats also give a sense to you that why I have not posted a single blog for a very very long time.Life is kind of busy with loads of laziness on my share.Still feel to write sometime when I get time (though preparation for class lurking at the corner)..who cares..phoo..
  Have lots of fun...life is too short to repent..

Having Fun In Life

What do you mean by fun in life ? Going to restaurant..buying new clothes...chatting with friends ...reading a book..cooking something to surprise everybody ....or playing candy crush on phone..helping someone (willingly with no promise of return)..We all live to be happy in life ...actually thats what life meant to me.

Certain memories in my life I treasure . No It did not involve buying any expensive jewelry or publishing journal paper. I think having afternoon lunch with friends in a rainy (or snowy ) Friday ( having this joyful feeling that weekend is near)..or eating oranges sitting under the sun in a cold winter afternoon...eating Phucka(golgappa) with friends on the street (no restaurant can give give joy of street Phucka)  I treasure those moments. I have a strong childhood memory of eating loads of green peas by cracking them apart in winter morning (as soon as dad had come home after grocery shopping). 

  I think the happiness which matters to us need to not be related to achievement. See for instance, I get happy when my journal article get published, but that also accompanies whats next ? Thats where the trouble is.

 Anyways recently we figured out some happiness in our life by chasing birds from vegetable gardens.Here is the pic

 

He dedicated his T-shirts for the bad birdies .

I know he will grow up soon and life will move forward..but I cherish some of these moments.Never knew how to make scarecrow before.But it was fun.:)

  

  

The Waiting...

    Last Friday I came home early after submitting the grade for the semester. It was a bliss..relaxing and tension of time-line was over. This is very unusual for me; in a regular day I return home with my son in the evening and immediately get occupied in the whirlpool of business. Thus, that untimely homecoming gave me a different kind of feeling. The house looked quite and sober. In morning maid cleaned the house, so there were no toys scattered in the living room, no legos on the floor to step on and no plates with unfinished breakfast on the coffee table. Whoever visited my home previously, they know this is quite an unusual sight in my house. However, the pristine cleanliness did not give me any satisfaction. To me the house looked so desolate..so unusually calm that I could sense the eager waiting in the silence of the air. The sofas looked like they were waiting for some body to jump (even if you say umpteenth time not to do so), some people to sit and chat something random. The carpet wanted to give shelter for hundred lego pieces to be scattered on it. The warm sun light was feeling the room with the desire to wrap the jumping kindergarteners. I felt the sense of waiting everywhere. Hence this picture name is waiting.