Today was Adi’s first day at day care centre. Well,I should not say it went very good. It was ok,……..not good, not bad either. I thought of not going to lab today as the day care center is quite a far from my lab. But somehow I thought staying at home would make me more crying and lazy. I left home after getting a call from the baby sitter that he was happily playing there.
Somehow not feeling good ,when I left him in school. He was happy and playing with the toys and piano. But when we said “bye bye” ,he came to us and told “ out and out”. I told him “baby will play inside”. He replied back,’’ Oh,raining”. poor adi!!!! he thought “maa appa want baby to play inside as its raining outside”. Little did he know that they were leaving him for a quite long time . I felt little crying but I stopped myself. my baby came to this professional world quite fast. I went to school at the age of 3 years and 9 months, but my small 19 months is going to school at this small age.wht can I do? My thirty year of education stopping me to leave this career and my motherhood doubting my love. Do not know. actually I feel women’s life is very much disturbing and an working mother’s life is full of guilt and self-arguing thoughts.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Life in Boston(II)
I am not feeling good. Somehow I hate cloudy weather and I like sunshine a lot. The bright sunrays falling on us, the beautiful air surrounding… has become a kind of joke for me. Here, one day is of bright sunlight and the very next day is rainy. I should sing like Adi “rain rain go away,come here another day”.
The Bostonians are really crazy, little winter went away, they were shouting,”summer,summer”.
hellooooooooooooooooooooooooo…where is the summer?
Come to india,I will show you what is called a SUMMER.
Sometime I do miss india a lot. In those summer evening, roaming around in Gariahut was so good. The footpaths would be full of so many colored dresses and terakota costumes,the phuckas ,the egg rolls. I MISS U A LOT KOLKATA.
Pune evening/afternoons were also crazy. In front of University main buiding , so many trees would be bloomed like hell now. We would have chatted abit now and then , all of us would have gone to the university canteen or Aniket restaurant to drink lassi. I miss a lot pune.
But Bangalore summer is difficult to catch. It just zooms away through the fingers. you cannot hold it .i cannot remember my summer days in Bangalore, mostly because my summer days all had been spent in lab or Tea-board. So IISc was the place where I met my dear,still its the place where I did not enjoy the beauty of nature or the life. The work pressure, the overcrowded trees did not allow me to distinguish the summer from the winter or rain.
Boston showed me a glimpse of its beautiful summer,then again its getting washed away by daily rain. In still last week’s walking trip to Harvard I could capture a bit summer of BOSTON. In usa summer comes with the nature and people’s clothes. But in india summer comes through color,people and food and ofcourse through nature.
I miss you ,india.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Life in Boston
When I moved to Boston on December with Adi and decided to stay with viswa for a year or two here, I was very much upset, because after 7 ½ years hostel-campus and full working life, suddenly I stopped. I left the post doc of IISc also. I had a fear and confusion about my decision whether staying here was a correct decision for me or not. December was not very bad because after long time seeing Viswanath again I was quite happy. Mean while Karthick used to come from RPI. Manju came from Berkely and Vasanth from florida on Christmas vacation. So just like that time flew.
Real trouble came on January. Everybody left and viswa had to go lab even on weekends. I was not able to cope up with my new life. In India I had so many people to help me out. I never took care of Adi alone. Here everything u have to do alone. I was feeling miserable, could not figure out what to do. Other problem was loneliness. I could not find any body outside the apartment. Only cars were going on roads. In India whenever u come out of Kaveri apartment u will see students, people; here only buildings and river and wide roads.
Then I started googling.U know I started to find out how the other stay-home-moms manage their lives. One fine day I gave search “ a mom’s day”.I found so many people, so many blogs and of course so many groups. I felt great. Always I used to think “My God, how will I stay with Adi alone whole day? “ Now I calculate I will get some more time in the day. I suddenly found so many things to do in life other than making nanoparticles. I do love doing science but this world I completely neglected.
I saw some of Mom’s blog. They are simply great. Some have such great imagination that with simply things they make their life so good. First time I think I am enjoying motherhood beyond my so-called fear and worry. I know research …labs are great places. But I feel enjoying life is also a great thing in life. Whoever women all over the world work from morning till night for their loved one they are simply deserved to call best. Their awesome labor and maintenance make the outside working world running. Do they get their due respects? I doubt.
Anyway after along time I came to blogging again. Cheers to Adi….
Real trouble came on January. Everybody left and viswa had to go lab even on weekends. I was not able to cope up with my new life. In India I had so many people to help me out. I never took care of Adi alone. Here everything u have to do alone. I was feeling miserable, could not figure out what to do. Other problem was loneliness. I could not find any body outside the apartment. Only cars were going on roads. In India whenever u come out of Kaveri apartment u will see students, people; here only buildings and river and wide roads.
Then I started googling.U know I started to find out how the other stay-home-moms manage their lives. One fine day I gave search “ a mom’s day”.I found so many people, so many blogs and of course so many groups. I felt great. Always I used to think “My God, how will I stay with Adi alone whole day? “ Now I calculate I will get some more time in the day. I suddenly found so many things to do in life other than making nanoparticles. I do love doing science but this world I completely neglected.
I saw some of Mom’s blog. They are simply great. Some have such great imagination that with simply things they make their life so good. First time I think I am enjoying motherhood beyond my so-called fear and worry. I know research …labs are great places. But I feel enjoying life is also a great thing in life. Whoever women all over the world work from morning till night for their loved one they are simply deserved to call best. Their awesome labor and maintenance make the outside working world running. Do they get their due respects? I doubt.
Anyway after along time I came to blogging again. Cheers to Adi….
Monday, March 24, 2008
Just a space
Dear ..dear...
What a life...
Full of work and lab and notes and family and responsibility and......what else..
Any thing left....
Sometimes I feel where I am ??
Forget about me...where radha or mita or sita and geeta ?????????
We, woman all over the world live for what...
For the benefit of human being. simple answer....
Tell me something
Why do we not give enough space to our women ????
Why do we feel and decide the fate , the lifestyle or even ......
Which subject she will study to which man she will marry.
Our dears will say “No baba, we are too good to select our life-partner”
Right we are fed in such a manner that most of our girls feel it is common disgust to talk or decide about their own life partner (I should say future lord).No I am not joking Recently I had seen a documentary on girls of meerut and its surprise and quite shocking for me to tell that there some girls told that they felt its utter disgust to choose their marriage partner. Romance is equivalent to crime. They are educated, well-bred or even from high class family.
Forget about them for time being .You can me that may be their back-dated. Lets talk after marriage. She is educated, well employed...doctor, software-professional or employee or lawyer. It does not matter what profession she is in. She has to maintain the good old decorum of the male-dominated society. She will take care from family to children to in-laws to everything. Have you ever seen father is giving complan to kid in TV advt. or man is concern abt which oil should family use ? We can think in other way though we have grown up enough to let our women working out, but still we want a docile, homely but employed (fair) girl for our son? Right...
You know I really feel that we should really do something against this. We should shout back and make others to understand we need some space..at least space to breathe in.
Lets hope ........................
What a life...
Full of work and lab and notes and family and responsibility and......what else..
Any thing left....
Sometimes I feel where I am ??
Forget about me...where radha or mita or sita and geeta ?????????
We, woman all over the world live for what...
For the benefit of human being. simple answer....
Tell me something
Why do we not give enough space to our women ????
Why do we feel and decide the fate , the lifestyle or even ......
Which subject she will study to which man she will marry.
Our dears will say “No baba, we are too good to select our life-partner”
Right we are fed in such a manner that most of our girls feel it is common disgust to talk or decide about their own life partner (I should say future lord).No I am not joking Recently I had seen a documentary on girls of meerut and its surprise and quite shocking for me to tell that there some girls told that they felt its utter disgust to choose their marriage partner. Romance is equivalent to crime. They are educated, well-bred or even from high class family.
Forget about them for time being .You can me that may be their back-dated. Lets talk after marriage. She is educated, well employed...doctor, software-professional or employee or lawyer. It does not matter what profession she is in. She has to maintain the good old decorum of the male-dominated society. She will take care from family to children to in-laws to everything. Have you ever seen father is giving complan to kid in TV advt. or man is concern abt which oil should family use ? We can think in other way though we have grown up enough to let our women working out, but still we want a docile, homely but employed (fair) girl for our son? Right...
You know I really feel that we should really do something against this. We should shout back and make others to understand we need some space..at least space to breathe in.
Lets hope ........................
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Ants’ Life
My name is aditi but I am an ant. Can’t ant have some name? I know what you are thinking, “hey, what happened to her?” She become mad or what”? But really nothing happened to me; I also get up in the morning and eat, work, sleep and again get up in the next day morning. But what I am saying is I am an ant. Not a joke, seriously I am declaring myself as an ant because I am so minuscule in this big earth that I am describing myself as an ant in comparison to the things happening around the world.
Being an ant what I can do in my life? I cannot do big social movement or I cannot bring revolution, forget about revolution, even I can’t raise a voice against injustice that is happening everywhere, everyday close to me. Sometimes I can’t even fight for my own and become less courageous. Then you can ask me, by the way what you are doing. What I can do is very small work that may be potential work to get better food! Yah I am not lazy, I work more than 12 hours a day with all my conscious. Who has the time to waste for others? No time even for thinking, other than work. I can do hard work like ant and can’t change anything in the world. It may be more appropriate to call myself a big ant considering my weight, but not more than that…
Being an ant, I like to know more about the biological ant’s life… Sometimes I used to watch what they are really doing? One fine day I saw thousands of ants walking in my garden with their own work. I went very closely and I put my finger in their way to stop them from running. They touched my finger and realized some obstacle, took a small diversion and again went in the same direction where they intended to go. Again, I put my finger to stop; they again took a diversion and went in same forward direction. I am surprised to see their motivation of not going back and wanted test their courage by doing the same. Haa, this time I got nice bite from them. They are more courageous than me. I remember several times in my life, I had similar situation but never could react boldly. Most of the time, I used to cross the situation by controlling the anger inside without even trying to resist. In fact, unlike me ant is not alone and always works together and similarly fights together against injustice. Now I am feeling inferior about myself and I am no longer an ant and not deserve to be an ant. I need to search for some other bug which is exactly same like me. Instead I think, I can call myself an Indian because you know what I mean….
Being an ant what I can do in my life? I cannot do big social movement or I cannot bring revolution, forget about revolution, even I can’t raise a voice against injustice that is happening everywhere, everyday close to me. Sometimes I can’t even fight for my own and become less courageous. Then you can ask me, by the way what you are doing. What I can do is very small work that may be potential work to get better food! Yah I am not lazy, I work more than 12 hours a day with all my conscious. Who has the time to waste for others? No time even for thinking, other than work. I can do hard work like ant and can’t change anything in the world. It may be more appropriate to call myself a big ant considering my weight, but not more than that…
Being an ant, I like to know more about the biological ant’s life… Sometimes I used to watch what they are really doing? One fine day I saw thousands of ants walking in my garden with their own work. I went very closely and I put my finger in their way to stop them from running. They touched my finger and realized some obstacle, took a small diversion and again went in the same direction where they intended to go. Again, I put my finger to stop; they again took a diversion and went in same forward direction. I am surprised to see their motivation of not going back and wanted test their courage by doing the same. Haa, this time I got nice bite from them. They are more courageous than me. I remember several times in my life, I had similar situation but never could react boldly. Most of the time, I used to cross the situation by controlling the anger inside without even trying to resist. In fact, unlike me ant is not alone and always works together and similarly fights together against injustice. Now I am feeling inferior about myself and I am no longer an ant and not deserve to be an ant. I need to search for some other bug which is exactly same like me. Instead I think, I can call myself an Indian because you know what I mean….
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