Rainy Day

Today is a rainy day and not a very busy day for me. I could not concentrate my mind on my work. Actually I am in need of a strong motivation or a lot of work pressure to keep myself going today. Monday Morning blue had a strong effect on me during morning rush hour. That time Steve Jobs motivated my mind. One of my friends posted his wonderful talk on his Facebook wall; I just happened to listen that and liked it so much.
So many bubbles of thought surface on our mind but they just fade away. Sometimes we do want to capture them on the piece of paper. Alas, it’s really hard to put all of them on writing. I am not an avid blogger. I write because I love to write or talk. I think when we talk to a friend , these kinds of melancholic blabbering will bore them a lot. But Microsoft office will say nothing to me. So this is an excuse for me for blogging.
For the last few months Boston had huge show showers, blizzards and lots of other things in the name of snow, winter, cold and chill. But when I come back home by daily commute, the frozen Charles River looks so beautiful. Now, the downtown Boston no longer reflects on the evening river water, yet it’s so beautiful. I was born in Kolkata and spent twenty five years of my life there. I loved that city too. Yet this uncanny beauty I never saw there. May be as because, Kolkata never gets frozen. Kolkata will be remained in my heart as a bubbly city, colorful people, in March-April red-yellow flower rush on both sides of the road. People abroad here talk about the poverty and dirtiness of Kolkata. I just want to tell them, ”Have u ever been in Kolkata?” If you ever lived in that city , definitely you would find some different kind of charm in there. Each of these cities has their individual appeal.
See, this is the thing happens when I start writing something, I write something else. Boston and Kolkata get intermingled and ultimately I finished my today.

The window

Sometimes, there will be thousands of things on mind which you just want to pour down on the white pages (oh sorry ! read it “on white blank Microsoft word document”) .Then there will be no time on your hand to write it down, because you have no time for blogging. But sometimes u have nothing in mind ,but u have a strong desire to write something. Today same thing happened to me. Fortunately both father and son slept quite fast and I got some free time for blogging.
You know what I feel each one of us should have a window in our life. That window should be our own window. U can also call it as perspective but I want to say as window. I feel perspective gives a lot of intellect or seriousness but window makes me feel a little bit weightless. Sometimes for us a window is a kind of ventilation for mind. U can carry your window all the time. For instant today I was standing on the busy Harvard Square, I carried my window along with me. The slow chilly windy evening air gave me a fresh feeling and walking through Harvard yard made me missing IISc a lot. I never miss IISc when I go to Northeastern University. That place is like a bubbling college campus and a serious work place for me. I really shut my window in Lab. I just open it there a little when I come out of lab, go for a coffee. The youth, the undergrads make me feel fresh, but I cannot reconnect with them.
to be continued.......

My Mother

The last few months were very busy months for me. I lost someone who was like a part of my soul. Why should I say only soul? It was the body also who took me this world. It was the mind also that made me think. She was my mother. Whenever I write, “She was”, the past tense linked with her hits me all the time. I love to think that she is still with me and I do believe that she is with me. So much love, caresses, sacrifice and devotion just cannot get burnt up along with her mortal existence. She believes very much Hindu Shastra. So I believe her existence beyond her mortal death.
Slowly I am coming back to life. I joined lab again. Again the tussle of daily life resumed. May be everything will be alright after sometime.

First day

Today was Adi’s first day at day care centre. Well,I should not say it went very good. It was ok,……..not good, not bad either. I thought of not going to lab today as the day care center is quite a far from my lab. But somehow I thought staying at home would make me more crying and lazy. I left home after getting a call from the baby sitter that he was happily playing there.
Somehow not feeling good ,when I left him in school. He was happy and playing with the toys and piano. But when we said “bye bye” ,he came to us and told “ out and out”. I told him “baby will play inside”. He replied back,’’ Oh,raining”. poor adi!!!! he thought “maa appa want baby to play inside as its raining outside”. Little did he know that they were leaving him for a quite long time . I felt little crying but I stopped myself. my baby came to this professional world quite fast. I went to school at the age of 3 years and 9 months, but my small 19 months is going to school at this small age.wht can I do? My thirty year of education stopping me to leave this career and my motherhood doubting my love. Do not know. actually I feel women’s life is very much disturbing and an working mother’s life is full of guilt and self-arguing thoughts.

Life in Boston(II)

I am not feeling good. Somehow I hate cloudy weather and I like sunshine a lot. The bright sunrays falling on us, the beautiful air surrounding… has become a kind of joke for me. Here, one day is of bright sunlight and the very next day is rainy. I should sing like Adi “rain rain go away,come here another day”.
The Bostonians are really crazy, little winter went away, they were shouting,”summer,summer”.
hellooooooooooooooooooooooooo…where is the summer?
Come to india,I will show you what is called a SUMMER.
Sometime I do miss india a lot. In those summer evening, roaming around in Gariahut was so good. The footpaths would be full of so many colored dresses and terakota costumes,the phuckas ,the egg rolls. I MISS U A LOT KOLKATA.
Pune evening/afternoons were also crazy. In front of University main buiding , so many trees would be bloomed like hell now. We would have chatted abit now and then , all of us would have gone to the university canteen or Aniket restaurant to drink lassi. I miss a lot pune.
But Bangalore summer is difficult to catch. It just zooms away through the fingers. you cannot hold it .i cannot remember my summer days in Bangalore, mostly because my summer days all had been spent in lab or Tea-board. So IISc was the place where I met my dear,still its the place where I did not enjoy the beauty of nature or the life. The work pressure, the overcrowded trees did not allow me to distinguish the summer from the winter or rain.
Boston showed me a glimpse of its beautiful summer,then again its getting washed away by daily rain. In still last week’s walking trip to Harvard I could capture a bit summer of BOSTON. In usa summer comes with the nature and people’s clothes. But in india summer comes through color,people and food and ofcourse through nature.
I miss you ,india.